32: Freedom

i never ever ever have that yesterday feelings before.
i teared on bed, it feels as if someone that i love so much just pass away .
feel the hurt?
i cant stop crying. i cant . & i close my eyes,
breathe in the air and try to think positively.
i cant even breathe. The pain took over me.
i feel as if im being fooled.
the fooled that is just so deeply hurt.

dear god,
show me the correct way.
i can sense what is going on.

I may not have the looks. I may be a bitch. I may be worse than a bitch. I may not be rich. I may be the useless girlfriend, useless friend. I may not appreciate what i have infront of me , the people around me. i may be stupid. I may not have brains.. but i have feelings like every human have. i dont care about whatever romours people have been spreading about me, but i know the only person who know me well is just me and those friends who have been knowing me for years. And this kind of friends, can be count by fingers. true friend?true love? never easy to find and have.

time checked: 12:10pm
mum and dad off to melawat.Granny brother pass away ytd.
Sigh.... salam takziah from me.
i feel for nenek. last 27days was my uncle, her first son.
and yesterday was her brother.
sigh.
now, i wanna bath and go down with sister to makan since dad left us some money. its raining heavily. and im planless on saturday . i need ciggy badly. That cure me very much.