Wednesday, February 17, 2010 , 10:42 PM

Lastly, the person that im still deeply inlove and deeply missed right now. With no contact, i always feel that his around me. It has been a long period that things are getting shaky for us. Things are getting tougher for us,for me. Yes for me. Im typing here on behalf of me. It seems that things can never have its end. And i dont know whether things have come to an end. All day long, my life seems to be in a mess after shit happen. I dont know what to do, am fighting over the pain that take over of me. Force to meet myfriends to just smile or laugh but deep in my heart the pain is aching so badly.But What's more can i do. Tears fall down when i realize that everyday i was just faking all those smile & laugher, but deep in my heart i feel lonely, i feel so sad, i was so hurt. You know, sometimes i wonder all along does he really love me throughout this five month. Or its just faking tears & dramas.Does he knows that i really love him so much when i was with him?Does he realize all that?Does he? It might be just 5mth, and people thought that we both have been 2gather more than 5mth like a year ,why?Because we're ttm before we're togather. And our friendship make us closer to relationship, and deeper closer when we're in relationship with just so many ups & down that you people cant imagine whats the hardest thing weve been through.Right now, my life is like so huru-hare. People around can even see it. Life's totally different without you, even if i still have my kampong friends. Friends that will be there for you , but not all times. Kampong friends are better than outside friend. No matter how bad or whatever people wanna say about me, i am jiwe-jiwe with them.

Friends asked me, When im gona start dating, go and start dating; and the answer is, i can't . Its killing me, i miss him deeply. and i know everyone knows that i miss him. And now, ive been spending my time with my kampong friends and girlfriends. And its better rather than dating or knowing guys. Rather spend my time with a bunch of friends than doing that. Im not easy to be know,touch,love or feel. So yeah, deep inside.. he's still part of me. Someone that i'll forever love and everyday miss.