32: Freedom

Some pictures during last week wedding on abg rudy & fadila big day.

mum side :)

dad side, the penari penari with mum

sisters. :)

mummyku and me.:)
actually there's alot of pictures but im lazy to upload. wait long long when im free kay.:)

Too many things had happen this few days. Things are getting more tougher for me but i still remain cool. Actually i cant but thats e least i can do. Lock up in my room and get stress all over me. Yes its too emotional, but i cant it until it really take over me. I just hope someone can hear my scream and get me out of this trap. Fuck, im struggling. No one feel me, even though they knows about it. But still, im trying my best to breath in all those air around me. Faking fake smiles and laughter, with friends around me but in the end i walk away and shed into uncountable tears. Its been hard on me, hard on him too. And can i just say us.? But we both are suffering with each and our own ways. When he say i dont feel him, and when i say he dont feel me. But still, lifes move on even tho how tough it gona be.

Saturday, a meet up with babygirl nurfarhan. Life have been hard on her too. And well babe, we'll get over it soon. I know you love him... and you know i love my him too.. insyallah things will be fine soon okay bby. I love you. and lets catch up again soon with the rest. But please, tkmu semue black, nanti org tgk lagek.hahahahas. you know i know. *winkwink.

few of my friends are going through the stage of heartbreaking shit. Breaking off with their girlfriend and boyfriend. Like suharry, syazana, cheryl, farhan,fara. And i can feel them but i just cant help much cause im myself in deep shit. But i hope things will be fine for them sooner or later.
and well , i believe this is part and parcel of life. No matter how hard you try to understand guys and girls, how weird , how busted, how lovely, how silly shit are them.. this is life.Cause At the end of the day is either u win or lost but still lifes move on for us. Some people took life as a game that they love to play . But im sure one day they will wake up and realise their mistake even tho it takes a year or two or more. We're just human. Too see and feel and try things in this world. So well yeah, life is just like a movie drama. And by looking at it, i smiled at the end of the day.

giving in does not mean you are a loser.
and the truth is that everyone gona hurt you, but you gota find the one who is worth suffering for.
well as said, nobody is perfect.
But its whether ur willing to fight, to sacrifice, to bear the hurt or not.
to change and learn from mistake and make things better.
no matter how many mistake people have make, everyone deserve upteens chances and its all up to individual. and im sure no matter how beast u are, people will come to their sense and realize their mistake one day.
and by looking on how life have been for people around me, plus all those good or bad advises from the elderly or youngster plus my past history; i came to realize and understand what life supposed to be and it make me much stronger and i know my life in love or whatever wont just end this way but it will get better in years to come.:)

it might be confusing . But i still love him and never ever stop loving him. None other than him, my dearest mr.r