suddenly the past came flashing back to me.
and when i look at it, i teared.
When i look and feel how unfaithful i am towerds a guy who love me deeply for three years.. stabbing him but the back alot of time ,and i dont even need to tell him i lied cause he knows all along i am, it make me feel so silly.
it makes me feels how bitchy and how shitty i am last time.
But he had never once not love me until the day he finally decide to leave me for good.
& he knows that one day i'll change. Change to be a better person and just after he left me, im proud and im glad to say ; my past history is a lesson to be learn and ive learn from misatake. & that me much more stronger to face whatever had happen in life.

(sorry for this post ppl, its just flashing back)
just as im typing right now, i dont know why im shivvering.
im feeling the hurt and my heart is aching right now so badly.
and its really painful.

im feeling lonely now.
time checked: 3:05pm
why am i feeling this way now? Maybe bcos of the msges he send me? Im feeling the hurt now, and i hope you are happy about it.Cause u want me to feel hurt and i am right now =)


Friends, kampong friends , close friends told me that i can find a better guy than this.
But they know me very well that i might have alot of friends because i am social but i cant bring myself to date people or know new people.
Even people who knows me through net, it takes 2 3 4 5 years to meet me.
To know me closer. So to you, i just hope that you are happy living ur ways.
You can get better girls than me.
and when friends asked me, " byk-byk kenape roy?"
the answer is, "bcos im addicted to the love he play and i love him"

here it is, 2 years back than...

the last hari raya with arwah lok.
the circle no. of friends.
From teens to adult, and this picture is when we're still small......
small time biler tk lepas beli rokok ehhh kekawan..hahahaah
to all grown up people right now leading with their own life..
this are the friends that will always be there.
and if you were to asked THEM,
" kau tknk mataer dgn lynn?"
tell you, they will laugh their ass out.
cause , we're just like brothers and sisters.
:)
so , stop thinking that me and my guyfriends are mentel or kekenal friends.
:)



anyway, whatever happen. as long as i can still love you, forever i will.
somehow i just want you to know, you are just someone special.
something special in my life despite of whatever shitty things had happen all along nearly five month.
and i just want you to know , if you are reading this..
please smile for me because im still here and will always be here loving you.
Friends might be everywhere.
But do you know whats the difference between friends and boyfriends/girlfriends- teman hidup?
=))
now , telling the whole world; even tho some people dislike our relationship..
i just want everyone to know that i love you more than anything else.
( i know some people is puke-ing or cursing when reading this , some people dont even wanna be friend with me knowing that im with him... some of them but well, i dont care cause ilovehim. Even tho he wasen there or whatever, nevermind i still love him.:) )
&& as long as i can still afford to breath, im always here. And just so you know,
i love you very much.
:)

please smile for me.
and feel me.
:)