32: Freedom

Sunday; happy chinese newyear & happy valentine day.

I didnt celebrate valentine so that explain my sunday was with the family over to bukit batok, 100days kenduri . Nothiing much but just spend my day over there. Was feeling very shagged cause it's been one week straight i went out with not enough resting at home. Cabbed down around 10plus pm. Reached home, then meet him. I didnt have enough of cash to support myself but since it was like wanna settle stuff, but end up nothing.. wasted 40bucks through and fro like that.

and honestly i really regret of chopping off my hair the other day and i really miss my old hair can. sigh :(

Monday.

Wake up 10plus am in the morning. Was feeling very very sleepy i tell you but since parents wanna go breakfast at geylang hajah maimona, woke up and went off and bus down around 12plus 1 plus like that. But just as we reach Hj m, its closed cause its monday ! haiyaaaa. Than went over to the 24hrs coffee shop and had my chicken fried rice. yummyyy. I tink i like chicken fried rice now can? ahahahah. Than went i was crossing over to this little shop,
this uncle shouted," DHL RECEPTIONIST!" i turn and i saw the uncle that work dhl and still there. My godddddddddddddddd, makes me feel like i miss working at dhl u know. Those senior over there, those abg-abg are very nice to me when i was working as a receptionist ecp abg yus. All married already la, im the tinny and only recept there when i was there. prrftt.rindu or what?:)

Bus down to sungei road. Fucking hot i tell you.
Than went off to meet him and get seperated from parents.
To clark quey at night. Have heart to heart talk.
Well, its too late to change?
and than i found out something about facebook and i feel that this wont step but the game will continue playing. And im the loser or this game. Why?Simply bcos my weaknest and mistake is a big thing that people can counter about me.
But they dont feel me.Cheated.Cheated.5moredays?
waiting for someone, but why still meets me.
cheated.cheated.

reach home around 12am.
Slack and chill.
Than, shit happen facebook happen.
Well, you make me feel guilty. And just so you know, i wasen like that when we're happy and officially 2gather. But just after what had happen , that is when i cant take it anymore and get back to all of my friends. Well, i believe that i am very social with people around me, and i believe i have tons of guysfriends that are kaki gerek and rather then girlfriends.
But that was me, i am like that but of cause i know how to take care of myself.But you used all the point to call me busted which is so unfair. But nevermind , i accept it.
waiting for you -5more days.?what does that supposed to mean. I found it myself and tell you , this will never end. Why?
u act as if u did nothing wrong and as if im the one yg salahhhh , tears and dramas but at the end.. U are with ure life with a new girlfriend or new girls.

I feel cheated.like honestly.
im full of lies? that explain to you too.
But well,i do feel guilty for what ive done .
and so, life still move on for us right?

neighbour , " lynn kau tau kite sume takde nafsu."
me , " tkde nafsu ape?"
ullie, " yela, kite sume anggap kau mcm adik bradiq towerds kau"
ytd conversation and i agree. Obviously, they are all like my brothers.
thumbs up.
And i told them, i love each and everyone of them.
and i am jiwe-jiwe with them.
and i told them ytd,
" i feel that i have no life now. Like totally. lagek when im not with roy when things da berubah. Aku hidup huru-hare."
Feel me.u dont, cause u always think i enjoy .
:)

I went down, and suddenly theres two person was like stomp-ing their feet and kejar me. I was very panic with the face expression and turn and it was black n sufi.
me: FUCK! FUCK! FUCK.KAU CHEEBYE BODOOOOOOOOOO!
BLACK : HAHAHAHAHAHA. PYSCHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
ME : FUCK YOU BLACK. FUCK.FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKK. DONT DO THAT AGAIN FUCKER.
SUFI&BLACK: HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
idiots. was shock when saw black and when he do dat. .
and , they were at fahmy void-deck and wanted to go jalan-jalan with car.
But i was tired n not in a mood.
5min smoking than i went up.

paitau black to sentosa today with reason.
My heart so pain now can.

time checked: 4:11pm
going out laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

i never change? You never change too. What's more i can do, when i told you im guilty and dont want my old life back. U just wont listen to me. Tell you, they are my friends. My guysfriends since long. And they are just bunch of friends but not someone special in mind/heart. And we dont go dating.
I dont wanna go story telling .
5days, enjoy ur day with gf.
k?
and gave me back what is mine. Thats all.

i can never trust a guy again.
never will .
never will i.
drama life.